Who Sits at The Table When We Take The Pressure Off
What would it look like for us to take the pressure off this year?
I’ve been pondering why women feel so much pressure.
Pressure to find her style, pressure to buy a house, pressure to show up at church a certain way, pressure to be a certain kind of wife, or employee, or to get certain grades, or to produce more in their business, or to be more creative, or to parent in a certain way, and not to say the wrong thing at her husband’s corporate work party, and whether the gym membership is worth it or if she should just work out at home for a few months et Cetra, et Cetra… honestly, this list could be so long. Consider for a moment what areas you feel pressure in. Keep those top of mind for me.
While I don’t have a ton to offer on the “why” we feel pressure, I have a couple observations for what happens when pressure is applied.
First, not all pressure is bad. Please hear me say that having ambition and dreams are a positive thing. You know I will always be the first to volunteer as a cheerleader for you as you pursue God-given vision. My guess is that if you are reading this, that pressure applied to mission/vision doesn’t feel as scary to you, as other externally perceived pressures might. The majority of real women that read blog posts in this corner of the internet are ambitious. Y’all are ministry leaders, and homeschool mommas, entrepreneurs, creatives, gals auditioning for college scholarships, dreamers, writers, and thinkers. You are women who bring beautiful things into the world with your ambition and we NEED your drive.
So apart from the pressure that we feel when bringing beautiful God-dreams into actualization, I wonder if you notice, as I have recently, that striving to meet external standards tends to squeeze out the “good stuff.” The light stuff, the joy stuff, the fun stuff, is the first to go. I mean, the excitement, the joy, the whimsy, the celebration. These are the first to take a hike when we take our attention to the external voices speaking into how things “should” be.
The very fact that joy is a fruit of the Spirit tells me that mature believers will be marked by a joy filled life. This also tells me that things like joy, whimsy, celebration, praise unto the Lord, and getting our hopes up might actually be weapons of spiritual warfare rather than nebulous ideas to get tossed out as we press ahead. Don’t hear me say that to be a mature believer you have to experience “happy” every moment of every day. Joy and happy are not the same thing. Joy is a settledness that surpasses situations. Joy doesn’t listen to meaningless input, but rejoices in the truth.
If we were to take the pressure off for a second, I suggest it may create an expanse that sets the table for joy and celebration to cheer you on, and whimsy to make you laugh, and excitement to stop caring about all the nay sayers. Set the table for them, take the pressure off and watch them do their thing.
Psalm 23 says:
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
The Lord prepares tables for us in the middle of enemy pressure and He is also steadfast in His love and delight over you. This seems to me like the best permission to delight in the ordinary even if it is simply to push back the darkness that pressure creates.
All this might seem nebulous. Let’s make it real to my life right now. If I were to take the pressure off my own life…
I wouldn’t care about the “style” of my home decor or my closet, I’d just live in it. I might wear more glittery blush. I might have more no makeup days too. I would print the wedding photos. I might publish the blog early. I could open my hands away from perfectionism. I might cut more wild flowers. I wouldn’t think as hard about what the “right” financial situation “should” be for a mid 20 year old. Maybe I’d post poetry. Maybe I would show my friends the art doodles in the corners of my journal. I wouldn’t apologize for my tears. I’d make tea and watch the sunset and maybe do a cartwheel because I’m free to. I’d feel safe confessing that I hate change. And I think that’s exactly what I need to do to remember that these are the days.
Do you see it? That looking for joy in the ordinary tells unnecessary pressure to kick rocks. Do you see how choosing to fully engage in living our lives to the fullest potential silences the “should’s” that external pressure orchestrates? You are free to take the pressure off, and delight in the luxury of the ordinary.
Continue the conversation over on instagram and cheer on other gals as we all decide what taking the pressure off means for each of us.
