Ideas For Practically Loving Your Long Distance Bestie
Whether you are the one who moved away or your bestie girl was the one to leave your college town, long-distance friendship is not impossible. If she is a friend for the long haul, you already know that friendship with distance involved will be worth the work. Here are a few easy but meaningful ways to stay connected.
Snail Mail - Who doesn’t love a good card or letter in the mail? If she is on a missions trip or serving at a camp for the summer try adding flat little extras like stickers or tea bags that won’t cost extra postage. When I was engaged my friend Brie sent me cards frequently that encouraged me in the wedding planning process. I have kept every single one.
Commit to watching a show together - Back in 2020, Netflix came out with a Chrome Browser Extension that allowed multiple users to watch a movie or show at the same time. That has now extended to most streaming services and is called Teleparty. You can download the extension for free and when you watch a show together you can chat in real time. It’s like a virtual movie night and group text all in one.
Make a rhythm for calls/facetimes - some friendships vibe off of a 1 monthly catch up, others need smaller but more frequent calls, some people gals love a voice memo, and others might feel the pressure to always respond with the same caliber of vm and end up ghosting unintentionally from the perceived pressure. Depending on what works for y’all, I would encourage you to ask each other what is life giving, what takes the pressure off, and what would make her feel loved. It’s ok to say what you need too, and to have grace for yourself in different seasons as those needs change. In the winter, I know that seasonal depression has a tendency to sneak in. As a safe guard, I often ask the girls who know me the most for more frequent check ins in the winter and for them to hold me accountable for taking vitamin D.
Ask meaningful questions - Staying connected usually looks more like: What are you dreaming about? How can I help? What isn’t working? What are you afraid of? And less: How’s work? What’s new? The more curious you can be the better even if you only have an hour on the phone.
Ask about the new friends she is making - One of the kindest things that Rachel did for me when I moved to Nashville was not getting jealous when I started making friends here. Just the opposite, she asked questions about how we met, and how friendship was going. She remembered their names, and who led the new life group I was in, and who I was trying to get coffee with. She didn’t hold it against me for making community where my feet are planted and that was beautiful grace to me. For someone who takes a little longer than most to enter into deep relationships with new friends, she encouraged me when I felt myself pulling back to believe the best in the new gals I was in community with. She encouraged me that they would still love me after I let walls down. That mattered to me and I bet it would really matter to your friends too.
Here is to friendship both across the country and up close. Here is to Facetime dinners and scheduling visits when husbands are out of town. Here is to saving up PTO for making the mutual friends’ weddings just to see the gals from college again. Here is to the still active group chat. Here is to the middle of the night calls home. Here is to the, “I’m looking at flights right now.” Here is to growing up, making new friends, and investing in the gals who have been there for the long run. You are a good friend and your friends are better because you are in their lives!
