What I am Glad I Did When I Moved to a New City
The Sarah Moving To Nashville Story is a WILD one. One that I don’t know that I am ready to fully share via blog form yet but in the midst of that season of life, the Lord was gracious to help me find community.
I come from a small town where generations of my family have grown up and stayed in. I am the only one in my immediate family to move away. I really made sure that the Lord was the one moving me away because there were a LOT of conflicting voices coming my way at the time. Y’all already know that when you are following the Lord’s will there will be resistance. In the middle of trying to figure out how to stay in this new, massive city in the south, I realized that beyond obedience being the driving factor, I was going to need community to keep me rooted there.
The first thing you will always hear people say when you are a Christian and you move to a new city is to get plugged into a church. I know, I know. I am not about to be out here giving you the same advice again. While I think there is so much weight in getting plugged into a church for obvious reasons, my advice here is to give yourself a short amount of time to look for a church. “Church shopping” for too long leaves our souls unsatisfied and oftentimes critical. We were designed to be deeply planted in a body of believers and exactly zero of them are going to be perfect and none of them are going to meet every single one of your needs. Pick a church that unashamedly preaches the gospel and don’t leave.
I looked for a church for less than a month. I moved to the south where there are churches quite literally on every corner. This was a polarizing difference from my hometown. There were churches, yes… but only one for each denomination and you just picked the one that you agreed with doctrinally. There were not 15 nondenominational churches with different vibes to pick from. Nope. You had to pick a theology and attend the corresponding congregation. Moving into the belt buckle of the Bible Belt was spiritually overstimulating. I am glad I picked quickly and stayed.
Next, say yes to invites. You are going to get invited to things. People want to hear your story. People will invite you to coffee. Say yes and follow through on those plans. Even if you don’t hit it off with the first gal who asks if you want to go on a walk after work, she might be the one to introduce you to your next bestie. Say yes, speak kindly, and actually show up.
If you aren’t getting invited places because you don’t know that many people yet - be the inviter. I know you’re shy around people you don’t know. I know it takes you a minute to open up to others. Get people’s numbers or follow them on social media pretty early on, and reach out. Ask them if they know of any seasonal happenings like if there is a local fall fest or a summer movie on the lawn and see if they would be down to go. Most gals will say yes and probably bring another one of their friends along for you to meet. It is also not that weird anymore to find gals on social media in your city. If you feel awkward about sending a DM you might find a cool hang from following their stories. (Don’t take this as permission to be creepy. Y’all know better than to be doing that nonsense in front of God and everybody.)
People love to talk about themselves. If you are a gal who is nervous about sharing your life with basic strangers, you can become a phenomenal question-asker. Break out of the typical work questions and ask questions about what they love to do in their free time. You might learn about her passion project and how she is looking for a photographer to take some quality photos of a new product that she is launching. AH look at that! You recently just bought a camera and would love to volunteer to practice your skill and help this new friend out! Commonality will breed connection. Sometimes you just have to fight for common ground a little harder in the beginning.
During one of my first weeks at the new church, some brand new friends were moving. When I say brand new, we had hung out in a group only once the week before. So the term “friends” was a stretch. I didn’t have a job yet and I knew they needed help moving so I volunteered my time and my car to help transport boxes. Before I made it to their house that day, I asked for their coffee orders. I wanted to be helpful but going the extra mile to be thoughtful too really helped us break into deeper levels of friendship. Thoughtfulness adds to connection.
Later on in the months to come, I found myself in church meetings with a small group of volunteers. We were working really hard to put together youth and young adult programming for this church. I didn’t know these people well and they didn’t know me but I decided everyone could use a treat and brought coffee again.
One of the pictures on my website is of a bunch of coffees sitting in the front seat of my car. I love being the coffee bringer because it means I have people in my life to bring coffees to. It’s something so little but just noticing that my front seat was full of drinks for new friends felt like a miracle. I will always volunteer to be the gal to bring coffees.
Maybe it’s really early on in a new city and you are still getting your footing. I got pretty homesick a few times in my first year. Jesus was so kind to me and reminded me that I was there on purpose and He also reminded me to delight in the life that was being formed there. I started making “Delight Lists” of things that I knew would lighten my mood. I also made a private Pinterest board of quotes and pictures of baby labrador retriever puppies and baby ducks that were instant serotonin boosters.
I went back into other archives of google docs and found an old delight list just for this post. Some are so little you could do one of them right now and others have a little more effort involved. But doing things that remind you to delight in life is a GOOD THING.
Mango smoothies
Office supply isles
Greenhouses
Reading in a coffee shop
Watching the sunset
Facetime a friend
Making a killer playlist
Netflix party
Writing in my Journal
Walking on a beach or by a lake
Creating; doodling, taking pictures, painting, sewing
Planning an event for friends
Airports
Patio Lights
Buy flowers
Writing in hotel lobbies
Collage art
Finishing a book
Nothing wrong with a little pick me up to remind yourself that there are things to like about your life even when you don’t have someone to share it with yet.
I pray that in your learning how to navigate this new city without Apple maps and as you are finding your favorite places to take family for dinner when they visit that you would be content in knowing that your savior goes before you and will make your path straight. He is mighty in this move and He will bring the right friends in His perfect timing. Praying for sweet moments in the meantime!
XOXO, Sare
