Moldy Couches and Redeemed Fall
How a moldy couch is making me trust the promise of a Redeemed Fall 2023
When the temperature dropped here in Nashville a few weeks ago I started feeling anxiety in my body but couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. There was nothing that I could place my finger on that would have been causing the emotional reactions to things I was experiencing. I finally took this to the Lord in prayer and with the help of Holy Spirit started to understand that my body was prepping for chaos. It made sense after all since the only other fall seasons that I have lived in this city have held their fair share of trial.
As I started to process this with the Lord, I told Him that I didn’t want to approach this season anticipating catastrophe. I wanted to believe that this fall would hold more for me and just because the other fall seasons where ones I wish I could forget most of the time… I wanted to feel confident that those seasons were not affecting this one.
That prayer turned into what I started calling “Redeemed Fall 2023”
This theme teaches me to pray and notice a more surrendered posture towards situations. I am practicing entering this fall with a sense of Kingdom Confidence that He gives in abundance.
Then a couple weeks ago, I came home from a long day at work, and plopped down on my couch only to notice little spots covering the back of our couch. The closer I looked the more I could tell that mildew was covering the entire back panel of our living room sofa. Danny and I started investigating and discovered mold in all our downstairs vents and fuzzy spots on our coffee table and area rug.
As I write this… I don’t know how the rest of this story will play out. We have mold samples out for testing to see if they will come back as toxic. The man who came to test the mold found way more of it in our townhouse walls and AC unit. We are not sure if we are going to be moving out and breaking a lease agreement, or if it can get fixed in a reasonable time since our lease is up in March. If the mold does come back toxic that would be a whole other conversation that includes purging furniture and likely many of our belongings. It also includes maybe moving into our in-law’s home while we sort out the game plan.
I confessed to one of my bestie gals yesterday that I’m not in full chaos mode and that I also don’t want to teeter that way. I went to meet with a mentor directly after phoning that friend. As I was telling the mentor what’s been going on this week she said, “You sound surprisingly calm about this.”
I realized this might be the first time ever that a very real storm is brewing and I’m not white-knuckling my way through it & I’m not running away in avoidance either.
I noticed in my prayer journal reciting back to the Lord that He already said this fall would be redeemed. Reciting back that living in TN is a miracle and that He never goes back on His promises. Speaking these personal truths back really is a glimpse that even if this fall ends up being just as chaotic as the last one, the girl moving through this season is different. She’s more settled in His promises than maybe ever. I’ve never had this kind of peace before when looking at unknowns.
I think that’s the grace of God pointing out where I trust Him more. And that might be the entire point of #redeemedfall 2023 for me. Maybe Redeemed Fall isn’t that nothing catastrophic happens but the way we move through the chaos trusting that He has better plans than what I would have come up with.
